Edited from a Ricky Martin song.

She’s into leafy produce
Green beans and carrot tops
I fear the fridge is empty
That pig’s gonna make me shop

She wants another beefsteak
Eats every day and night
She’ll make you put your coat on and go shopping in the rain
She’ll make you fill her hungry mouth
Then she’ll take away your pain
When she’s squeaking in your brain

One more produce store
Living cavia loca
She’ll squeak and purr you down
Living cavia loca
Her ears are pink and red
And her fur’s the color of mocha
She will wear you out
Living cavia loca
She’s living cavia loca

Woke up in New York City
To that dirty litter smell
She took my cukes
And she took my spinach
She must’ve squeaked very very well

She never drinks the water
Fill her bottle with champagne
Once you’ve fed and petted her
You’ll never be the same
Yeah, she’ll make you go insane
One more produce store
Living cavia loca
She’ll squeak and purr you down
Living cavia loca
Her ears are pink and red
And her fur’s the color of mocha
She will wear you out
Living cavia loca
She’s living cavia loca

By Steve Homer